I am taking one class this semester. In the future, I would like to take more, but I need to see how the work load is while working full time. I hope to take some summer classes and possibly a may mester as well.
I am currently overwhelmed. For those of you that know me, you know that patience is not a virtue that i have...I went to new student orientation two weeks ago and loved it, and then excitedly couldn't wait for my first day of class. But on the drive down to DTS, I found myself doubting. This program is 90 credit hours. It would take me three years if I did this full time (which im not). Will I be forty when I graduate? Will I ever graduate? How will I ever pay for this if I go through will all of it? Is this really what Im supposed to be doing? (yes all these questions actually went through my head during the 20 minute drive)
I really feel like my counseling degree is something that the Lord has put on my heart in various different ways throughout the past several years...I can even think back to my senior year of college- one of my most favorite elective classes was a counseling class! I can remember a ton from that class. It really impacted me. Over the years, God has used many circumstances and lessons to show me this is where He is leading me.
Bottom line- although the end is no where in sight, I need to trust Him and trust that this is where he is leading me. (another thing i can struggle with- trust!)
During orientation, Dr. Campbell, one the past presidents at DTS, shared a bit about the school with us. He said something that stuck with me.
"Don't ever doubt in the dark what God told you in the light"
And thats exactly what I have been doing, doubting in the dark what I clearly feel like the Lord has put on my heart and told me in the light.
SO, already God is using my seminary experience to bring two of my struggles- patience and trust to the surface. So I will continue to ask the question
What does the Lord want to teach me about trust/faith through this?
And I'll take one to two classes at a time and keep praying for patience. (and money haha) and keep praying for God to lead me!
Good words. GOOD words. I'm right there with ya.
ReplyDeleteThe last thing I wanted to do was to stay in Dallas. My track was 4 years and I was dead set on getting through as fast as I could. But God had other plans...
Now, my 4 year plan has turned into 8. 8 long years. And I'm only half-way through. I can only take 2 classes a semester, and my desire to leave Dallas as quick as I could was shot to pieces. And when it happened, my thoughts and doubts echoed yours.
For me, college was a hoop that I had to jump through; a degree that I had to earn in order to do the "next step". And this was my mentality entering seminary. But over time (and with God smashing my pride.. which still needs to be smashed) I've been so thankful for being forced to slow down. I've learned that seminary isn't about the degree; its not a hoop to jump through. Its not something I have to "get through" in order to make it to "the next thing". I learned (the hard way) that its about getting to know your First Love better than you ever have before, and as a result being able to share more of Him with others. Its about the incredible privilege of being able to understand His Word and taking the time to swim in its riches. Its about every class and every assignment being an opportunity to see God clearer and know Him better, and as a result being more enthralled with Jesus than I ever thought imaginable.
Don't buy the lie that you're there for a degree. You're there to know God in ways you never thought possible. That's what your kids truly need. And THAT is what will make you the best counselor and the best YL leader in the world.
As if you needed any improvement. Cause you're already the best in my book.
Seriously, so glad that you are going through with this! Absolutely agree with Luke - your degree will get you a job as a counselor (so it is necessary in that sense) but you will grow so much as a person, YL staff, and future counselor (FUTURE KATE!) with each and every class you take.
ReplyDeleteThere are probably some advantages to full-time seminary. But I wouldn't trade a shorter time period for the chance to work full-time and soak in every class as you are finding ways to apply what you learn.
Great job getting started. Love Kate, love DTS and love Kate at DTS!